Off-Topic Friday: Best Fantasy Football Team Names

It is Friday again everyone and that means its time for another off-topic fantasy football topic. Most of you liked the article last week about creative fantasy football trophies and I appreciate the feedback. I’m going to continue this week with some fantasy football team names that have stuck out this past season. Some of you are still struggling for a team name so feel free to borrow one. If you are sitting there wondering if the default option that ESPN gives you is suitable for the rest of the season, think again. “Team Orlicki” and “Team Bertulis” just isn’t going to cut it.


GymTanLaundry: Ah, time to pay my dues to the bad boys and girls of Jersey Shore. For you avid watchers, you know it better as, G.T.L. For those of you who haven't had the privledge, start watching so that you can shrink your brain cell count along with the rest of America.  Not sure how many sayings are out there that can be characterized as a punch line and also include three separate errands. Bravo, The Situation! Bravo!

Ed Hoculi’s Biceps:  His arms may be large, but his on field capacity to officiate a game is much smaller. I must give him credit where credit is due. He is very deliberate in his descriptions of what happens on the field and once needed 91 words to explain an illegal procedure infraction. This guy is a lawyer as well so we are starting to see where the deliberateness is coming from. I'll quit badgering the witness, your honor.

Brett’s Bucket List: Father-time is starting to catch up to Brett Favre. We saw that last night with a bad showing (15-27, 171 yards, TD, INT) at the ripe old age of 40. Maybe Brett’s Bucket List includes blowing a second consecutive NFC Championship game.

He Hate Me: Rod Smart unofficially was unofficially better at branding than the XFL that gave him his fame, or lack there of with the name “surname” of “He Hate Me”. When Rod finally made it to the NFL, he changed his name to “He hit me” and then quickly to “He Cut Me” when the Eagles cut him at the end of the 2001 season. Also, who would of thought that this guy was his first cousin.

Large Farva:  Thorny-“Will you just order a large farva.”

Farva-“I don’t want a large farva. I want a goddamn liter of cola.”

Not sure how “Super Troopers” plays into fantasy football names but it brings a smile to my face when I see it so it makes the list.

I love Erin Andrews: As do I Mikey. As do I. I envy you Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

The Name…Is Dalton:  Score one for the cheesy-slash-awesome (yeah I typed it out) 1980’s bar fighting movies. If, and this is a big IF, I could come back as someone in life, I would come back as Dalton from Roadhouse and tell the hot chick in the E.R., “Pain don’t hurt.”

Dad, who is Reno Mahe: Dad would probably say, “Before the flying Hawaiian, there was the…Crab Fry…Making..Hawaiian…Guy.” Known best for being just above marginal so that he could make the Eagles team but was so below average that he would fair catch EVERYTHING! He wasn’t as much of a punt returner as he was a punt catcher. That should sum it up.

Cowboys Suck: Now you could insert any NFC East teams sans the Eagles here and I would be okay with it. I saw this one and it brought me back to my Uncle asking my 6 year old cousin, “Who’s your favorite cowboy?” and my cousin saying, “John Wayne.” My six year old cousin knows that Dallas sucks. If he learns nothing else in life, he will still know more than any Dallas fan. I severely dislike everything Dallas, so this appeases me. Yes I will be rooting for D-Mac on Sunday night! I pray he comes out playing the air guitar to "Welcome to the Jungle."

Days of our Favre:   Each June the same monotonous question about Brett Favre comes up. I’ll admit it used to be entertaining. I used to admire Brett Favre, but to drag this out year after year is similar to a daytime soap opera and is also unfair to fans. This guy is a glorified diva that belongs on the show which encourages drama and eternalized people coming back from the dead.