Fantasy Football Etiquette

Fantasy football etiquette is one of the up and coming topics in fantasy football.  With the explosion in popularity in the past 5 years it is become accustom for many fantasy football enthusiasts to take on anywhere from 3-5 teams.  I’ve heard of some idiots that do close to 10 a year and invest over $1500 in buy-ins.  What?  But the one thing about these over the top fantasy football players is that, they know their p’s and q’s.  So for those of you who do not know their p’s and q’s I will go over the top 10 things not to do during a fantasy football draft.  And if you think I am doing this so that you actually don’t slow me down then you are correct.  I am sick of all of you speed bumps out there taking your sweet time to draft.

Top 10 Don’ts of Fantasy Football

10.  To start it off, don’t be late to the draft.  There are going to be 10-12 guys in the league and you really don’t want to be the guy who shows up late.  These guys took time out of their day to be at a draft so don’t make them sit there and drink more beer than they have to.  The average draft takes 3 hours so don’t be 20 minutes late and then ask for a rules explanation.

9.    Draft a player within the given time limit.  This has to do with being prepared which means when it is on the guy drafting 5^th and you are drafting 7^th, have 3 guys in mind that you want to draft.  Don’t sit there looking at all the RBs and WRs on the list and then shuffle through your overpriced magazine looking for an answer.  Be ready!

8.  Don’t be a cheap skate and show up without your money to be in the league.  I can tell you this for a fact:  anyone who shows up to my house without the proper amount of money will be given directs to the nearest ATM to remedy the problem.  For those of you who let the commish know ahead of time (day or two) that you will get them the money in the short future after the draft are reprieved.  But for the guy who thinks they are going to full the league into thinking you simply forgot is weak.  Don’t be that guy!

7.  Some leagues do a random draft order ahead of time and some drafts pull their draft slots out of a hat that night.  Whatever the case is, remember not to moan and groan that the “1^st pick is the worst” or that “7^th place is the hardest” and so on and so forth.  Be a man(or lady) and suck it up.  All you are doing is creating an excuse for the end of the year when you come in last.  You are fooling no one.

6.  After every one of your picks don’t go look to the guy on your right and say, “Yo man, the guy I just drafted is a sleeper this year.”   I feel like screaming, “Oh really? He’s a sleeper?  Why is that?  Cause you went to google and typed in ‘2011 NFL Fantasy football sleepers’ and you clicked on the first link that showed up?  Like every other guy in the league DIDN’T DO THAT!!”  PAAALEASE!! Do not do that!  There is no such thing as a sleeper if EVERYONE knows who they are! I KNOW WHAT JIMMY GRAHAM DID LAST YEAR! I GET IT!

5.  This again comes underneath preparation.  Do not ask the guys around you if you can see their cheat sheet.  Why you ask?  Cause it’s a cheat-sheet.  It’s their’s.  They have notes written on it.  Guys circled that they are targeting.  Just use what you got and if you don’t have the info then you are going to have to do without.

4.  When it is your turn to pick, don’t start off asking if so and so has been draft.  PAY ATTENTION! Don’t go outside for a cigarette every 15 minutes. Stay and PAY ATTENTION.  Look at the board and see who has been taken.  It is your draft and your $100 bucks on the line.  If you don’t pay attention then you will lose.

3.  This no-no had a solid shot at the first overall spot, but then feel to third.  If you on deck to pick and are torn on who to take, don’t turn to your buddy next to you and ask who he should take.  First, it puts him in a bad spot.  He is going to be picking soon and may want to target a particular guy and then you go and ask if you should take him.  If I am him I tell you no and that the guy just broke his leg so that you pass on him.  Second, it’s your team so pick it yourself.

2.  For this next one, if you are sitting next to me I might punch you if you pull this on me.  If it is the 10^th round and Felix Jones is somehow slipping down the board, don’t say out loud how you can’t believe he is on the board.  Someone who is too dumb to notice will then go pick him and if I was targeting him next you might get stomped out for blowing it for me.

1.  When everything is all said and done, don’t say to everyone how you love your team.  We know that you love your team cause YOU PICKED THEM!! Obviously you love your team.  How dumb is that?  We ALL love our team. That’s why we picked them!!



Enjoy...